Tears

How are you feeling these days, Friends? Have you found it hard to wrap your mind around this health crisis? I’ve been writing words to encourage, faith-filled words, funny words, whatever comes to mind each day. I had Speak in mind for today. But then came Tears.

I didn’t sleep much last night. Rather than drifting off after a quick prayer, I allowed compassion and concern to come. I thought about the many people who are losing their jobs. Someone close to me will be working without pay. Companies are struggling to stay open, many being ordered to close while resources are directed to the essentials of life.

I still believe that God is in control and that our difficulties have purpose. It’s just sad. And I don’t know yet, how I’ll be able to help.

I did get some sleep and rested until daylight while Dave and son Kyle got ready for work as usual and began their tasks at home. I took my coffee cup to the corner where I sit and pray. And I cried. Because this is hard. I know someone who is pretty sick with Covid19. I wonder how the First Graders are doing at home and pray for the ones who have unmet needs. I spent some quiet time with the Lord.

Following the example of my guys, I showered, dressed, did my exercises – my normal routine. Then I went upstairs and  dragged out a bin of old stuff, nostalgic stuff like cards we received for our first anniversary, my high school bowling trophy (it was for most improved – I had no where to go but up), photos of our kids, my stamp collection, you name it.

While I was sifting, sorting, and smiling, Kyle came up to see me. He had about half of his day in and needed a break. His job with the newspaper company is preparing ads for print, sometimes taking a company’s previous ad and making updates for an upcoming edition of the paper. His job is usually located in a central design hub where he and his co-workers service a number of small town newspapers.

These newspapers are doing a great job of covering the coronavirus crisis and keeping the community up to date. We read information from our local health department and hospitals, as well as details of state, national and world updates. Kyle’s job has changed as so many events and programs have been cancelled. He is doing his part to pass updates along to the public. Small businesses are working to keep their customers informed. Kyle sees their struggle, realizes that doors will close, people will be out of work, and many may not reopen. He cares. The stress of it brought tears. We talked a little, prayed a little, and he went back to the basement to work.

It’s OK to cry. Things are not normal. I pray that at the end of this day, you will realize, though, that you had what you needed.

You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8