There are a few statements that just keep coming out of my mouth, or at least into my mind.
1. I’ll write a Blog Post tomorrow. Yes, I’ve been procrastinating more than usual on this, usually for one of these reasons:
- I don’t know what to write about.
- I know what to write about, but just can get excited about starting.
- I would be uncomfortable sitting for as long as it would take.
- The weather is too nice to be cooped up inside. This one almost prevented today’s writing. It is 71 degrees and sunny – perfect! I’d be tempted to head to the bike path, but I think I overdid my walking yesterday and need to rest my knee and ankle today, so I finally dragged a folding chair and TV tray onto the deck and set up my iPad and keyboard outside.
- I’m too tired.
2. I’m so tired. I can’t deny that I’ve been getting stronger as the weeks add up since my January 28 back surgery. Others see my progress, and I notice that I don’t tire as easily. However, with more energy comes more activity. My pedometer confirms that I’m increasing my daily steps. Some of the steps and activity involve trimming rose bushes and watering newly planted herbs and flowers. The nerve damage that I sustained in surgery limits my muscle strength and makes walking on the uneven terrain of our yard challenging in a good, but tiring, way. I do take rests during the afternoon, but hear myself saying “I’m so tired” every day. A variation of that is “my foot is shot.”
3. Thank you. OK, it’s time to move on to my more positive expressions. During these 19 weeks, I may have said “thank you” more than any other two words. I’ve said it to:
- Every doctor, nurse, aide, therapist, and housekeeper who served me in both hospitals.
- The many people who have blessed me with cards, flowers, visits, and encouraging words. See Paying Well Wishes Forward.
- My husband, the one who stayed beside me at Cleveland Clinic and made two trips daily to Belmont Community Hospital; who understands that I need to go to bed early and turns off the baseball game to keep me company; who helps plan our meals and does the weekly grocery shopping, then cleans up the kitchen after I’ve prepared the meals.
- Our son, Kyle, who assists Dave with our laundry, fixes a meal now and then, brightens my days with his humor, does any little thing I ask him to, and never fails to give me an encouraging word when I’m a little down.
Gifts awaiting me when I came home from hospital
- My Father God, who blesses me EVERY DAY with what I need. I suppose I could complain, and won’t pretend that I never do, but I am thankful for so much. This a challenging situation, but it could have been worse. I woke up from the surgery. I can walk. My right leg and foot are not affected, so I can drive. I did not have a job to get back to. (Insert 1000 more things here.) I am never alone, even when no one else is home or I go out for a walk or errand. God is with me, keeping me from falling, lifting my spirit with a bird song or gentle breeze, reminding me that I am loved and that all of these challenges are temporary. The experts tell me that they think that my nerves will heal and my physical issues will resolve, maybe in a year or so. As time goes on, I wonder. But, even if I do not return to normal, a day will come when every tear and pain will be gone, and I will be new. The old things will pass away and the new will come!
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
4. But I did it! Every day has challenges, some I give to myself and others come along unexpectedly. I, like so many folks with disabilities, am finding almost every activity to be hard in some way, often because of feeling off balance. Some things I do differently, like showering sitting down with a handheld shower head. We rearranged our pantry and keep some pots and pans out of the cupboard for easy access so I can do most of the cooking. I walk farther each week than I did the week before. I set up a little desk on the deck to avoid putting off writing a blog post till “tomorrow.” And I hear myself say, “It was hard, but I did it!”
The old Train Tunnel on the National Road Bikeway where I walk.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9
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