I’m writing today about something that has become prevalent and contagious in our world, something that is often spread when we open our mouths and speak, or when we respond to another person’s social media post. It has destructive power within families, workplaces, and churches. It discourages at this time when we so desperately need encouragement. It is not novel, but seems to be increasing, to be permeating every area of life and affecting how we feel about ourselves, the people we live with, our communities, our country, and the future. It begins with the letter “C.”
I have become aware that even optimists are not immune to it. Once infected with it, the recovery can be lengthy and painful. Many times a person is not aware that it is present in themselves. Children do not usually exhibit the symptoms. Sadly, the longer we live, the more likely it seems that we develop it.
The “C” word may be accompanied by maladies such as disillusionment, mistrust, self-righteousness, and the inability to experience JOY. The infection begins in our minds as we begin to form judgments about the situations around us. In our speech, it often follows the little word “but,” going beyond a helpful suggestion, negating any positive thing that has been said, bringing us down. BUT…
THERE IS HOPE! This condition can be self-diagnosed and treated. Maybe 2021 can be the year when cases decline dramatically and the air is cleared of so much CRITICISM. As it is said about so many harmful habits, the first step to recovery is admitting that we have a problem. So here goes.
I, Lisa Frisch, admit that I have a problem with criticism. I want to start noticing when I am being tempted to hold myself or some one else to a standard of perfection. I want to be able to stop myself from adding the “but” to what started out as a positive statement. (The sun is shining now, but it’s supposed to rain later. I want to show kindness to that person, but I’m not sure they’ll appreciate it. I see progress in this situation, but things will probably go wrong soon. Thank you for doing that thing, but I was hoping that you would also do this other thing.) I want to look for the good in others, to remember that each one is created in the image of God, that each one needs love and grace. I want to stop making negative assumptions about how other people feel or think. I want to look at people with compassion instead of with fear or criticism. And when I find myself thinking or speaking out of a critical attitude, I want to confess that sin and remember that as a believer in Jesus Christ, I am forgiven. In Him there is no condemnation. In Him there is peace and JOY.
The last page of WORDS THAT WIN by Lisa Frisch
You can print the booklet version here, cut apart and stack the pages, and staple on the left side.
In my prayer time this morning, the words of James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, came to mind, words that are so important for us to remember during the trials of these days. While I know the passage in the language of the New International Version, I first want to share with you the New Living Translation.
2 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.5 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.6 But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.7 Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.8 Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do. JAMES 1:2-8 NLT
Here is the same passage in the NIV translation.
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. JAMES 1:2-8 NIV
Notice with me how God, the giver of all good gifts, will generously give us wisdom when we ask. And He does it without finding fault, without rebuking us for asking. May we seek and rely on God’s help in becoming more gracious and giving and less likely to find fault in others. Let’s do out part to parcel out more encouragement and less criticism in 2021. 