My Independent Streak

It started when my husband told me that he would be in Utah on business for 10 days in February.  Checking my calendar, I realized that it would be a good time for me to make a solo trip to my hometown, spend a few days at my mom’s house, and catch up with some family members and friends.  The plans were coming together when a troubling thought occurred to me.  During those 6 days, I would be unable to access the internet to check e-mails since Mom has no connection at all.  When Dave and I have traveled together, this has not been an issue because he has a smart phone and, frankly, I don’t miss getting on-line for a couple of days.

To be honest, it bothered me a bit that being unable to visit the World Wide Web would make me at all anxious.  But, it did.  When I expressed my concern to my son Eric, he suggested that it was time to get a smart phone.  He saw my reluctance to even discuss it and told me that my cell phone had “answered” two calls from him without my knowing it and he had heard me talking to the pharmacist at our grocery store!  Uh….weird!  Combining that information with the fact that the space bar and letter B did not always work when I texted made me realize that I did need a new phone.

Obviously, I am not opposed to technology, but I have prided myself for not needing or even wanting to be connected to the internet at all times.  I had only owned two cell phones and, while adequate for my use, they were both dumb.  Still, with the solo trip less than three weeks away, I was seeing the advantages of making the leap to a more intelligent mobile device.  Eric suggested the Apple phone that he and his fiance both have, noting that it is also the one Dave uses.

Knowing I would need some time to adjust to a new device, I announced to Dave that I was ready to get a smart phone.  That’s when my independent streak kicked in.  Did I really want the same phone that they had?  Couldn’t I do some on-line research and find something that might cost less and adequately meet my unique personal needs?  Wouldn’t it be fun to come up with my own plan?  I didn’t want to go along with the crowd, even if it consisted of my husband and kids.

When I expressed this to Dave, he patiently explained that I could do whatever I wanted.  However, if I got something different, he wouldn’t be able to easily help me set it up and use it.  In addition, since I already own an iPad, an iPhone would be more intuitive to me than one with a different system.   I couldn’t argue with his reasoning, so I consented.

Of course, it was not necessary for me to purchase a black phone like theirs, so I chose a white one with a rose gold back.  Last week, I took that new smart phone with me to Mom’s and learned by trial and error how to use it in various ways.  Here is a picture that I snapped with the phone and uploaded to Facebook – with the phone:

During the week, I began to ask myself some questions.  What is it in me that wants to figure things out myself, hoping to find a better solution than the one that has been offered?  Why would I not quickly accept the advice of the people who love me the most and know me the best (and also know more about the technology)?  Was I just using my God-given intelligence and independent spirit, or was it something else?  Could it be that I have a bit of a stubborn streak?  It made me think of a two-year-old who says, “I do it myself!”  Then the word “pride” entered my mind.

Pride is an interesting word that holds antithetical meanings.  It can be a healthy, positive emotion or a dangerous, egotistical view of oneself.  I have been considering the wisdom of the Bible’s book of Proverbs lately.  Clearly human pride that sets itself up in opposition to the ways of God falls into the negative meaning.  Proverbs 11:2 states, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”

When I think about how much I am loved by my husband and sons, I realize that they have my best interests in mind.  How much more does God know me, love me (in spite of my shortcomings), and guide me along His good path.  Here are a few verses from Psalm 119 that I’ve been contemplating.  Perhaps they will encourage you to trust him more.

“Your hands made me and formed me; give me understanding to learn your commands.”  Psalm 119:73

“Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.”  Psalm 119:165

“I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.” Psalm 119:32

“I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought your precepts.”  Psalm 119:45