This Father’s Day, Say It With Respect

What do you respect about your father? Does he make sacrifices to provide for his family? Is he great at solving a problem or fixing what is broken? Have you ever thought about what he would do to keep you safe? Is he the one who takes you on vacation or spends time outside with you? Do you call him when you need some advice?

Fathers have a unique and very special place in our lives. Father’s Day is a great time to express that to them, often with a card.  It takes some effort to find cards that honor men rather than make fun of them. Sure, he’ll laugh at the fart or beer joke, but doesn’t he deserve some heartfelt appreciation for who he is and what he means to you?

My husband and I have two grown sons who are terrific at selecting cards for us. The guys consider our family’s blessings and challenges and present us with printed cards or handwritten notes that come from the heart. When we read those messages, we both find ourselves tearing up a bit.

As the only female in our family, I’ve been quick to express my love to my husband and my sons. About six years ago, I began to understand that there are other sentiments and words that have special meaning to men – words that women can be more intentional about using. “I love you to the moon and back” may be how we feel, but a message that conveys respect reaches the hearts of our men and boys . My understanding of this difference between men and women has come from the Love and Respect teaching of Emerson Eggerichs that I first heard in 2011. As Father’s Day approached that year, I used Walmart’s website to make this custom card for my husband:

   

The Father’s Day cards I purchase are not for my dad since he passed away many years ago. I’ve taken some time to remember the eighteen years I had with him and to recognize the honorable man that he was. I would want my card for him to say “Thank you.” Thank you for building us a great house to live in, complete with my own chartreuse bedroom. Thank you for going to work every day to provide for our needs and to make it possible for Mom to stay home with us. Thank you for supporting me in my activities and goals. Thank you for the camping trips to Michigan. Thank you for the day trips to fun places like the Columbus Zoo, where I took photos for my 4-H project and realized after we had walked through the rain to our car that I had left my camera on a picnic table. You went back for the camera.

Dad has his hand on my head as Mom turns on the lights.

See how my sister’s bedroom in the background is elevated?

Mom designed our unique split level home and Dad made it happen.

It’s not always easy to tell the people who mean so much to us how we feel. Many of us have felt regret for not noticing and appreciating the day-to-day efforts and sacrifices of our parents. A card may be the way to tell your dad what it is that makes him special. You might do it by adding a personal note after the punchline of a funny card. I found a  list of meaningful Father’s Day messages for fathers, husbands, and grandfathers at LovePop if you need help getting started.

Grandchildren are the crown of the elderly, and the pride of sons is their fathers. Proverbs 17:6

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2 thoughts on “This Father’s Day, Say It With Respect

  1. Kathy Fuller says:

    Thanks for your appropriate and timely Father’s Day message, Lisa. Tom and I take various special days, like Father’s Day, to write meaningful letters to each other. We always find cards from other holidays that have nothing to do with the current event and put our letters inside them. Where needed, we cross out “happy 50th birthday” or whatever the card says, and put something like “happy Father’s Day” . Tom thought last Sunday was Father’s Day, (that’s what happens when you are retired and don’t have to be aware of the days on the calendar). He was disappointed that there wasn’t a note from me waiting for him Sunday morning. But very happy to find out he was a week ahead of schedule. Thanks for your message reminder. Time to get with it and get his inappropriate card and letter put together before Sunday.

    • Lisa Frisch says:

      HaHa! I would never come up with such a fun way to give each other cards, but I can totally envision you and Tom doing it. Your marriage is truly an example to me and to many – a good example! The fact that he was so disappointed is, I feel, confirmation of how much it means to express our appreciation for our husbands. Thanks so much for reading and for taking the time to write this comment.

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