My husband I are going to a Parenting Conference in a few weeks. Even though our sons are already men, I can’t resist the opportunity to hear Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife, Sarah, teach about Love & Respect in the Family when the event is only 1 1/2 hours away! I also subscribe to the notion that you can teach an old dog new tricks and suspect that there will be some wisdom to be gleaned about parenting adult children.
You may know that I’ve been a fan of the Love & Respect teachings for years because they work! The latest book from Dr. Eggerichs, “Mothers and Sons: The Respect Effect”, points out that sons, as well as husbands, are motivated by respectful communication. I expect a bit of this teaching to be included at the conference.
But the basic topic is “Love & Respect in the Family: The Respect Parents Desire, The Love Children Need.” Having read the book by that title (which I hope to get autographed), I know that participants will learn about The Family Crazy Cycle. You may have never have heard of it, but if you’ve got kids, you’ve likely participated in it, and if you don’t have kids, you’ve no doubt seen it play out in a mall or restaurant, or even at church. The scene (cycle) goes like this: a child feels unloved and reacts to a parent in a disrespectful way. The parent, who now feels disrespected, reacts to the child in a way that feels more unloving, triggering more disrespect…
Someone has to break the spiraling, and, of course, it needs to be the mature person – the adult. Eggerichs maintains that when children are loved in a biblical way, they are more motivated to show respect to their parents. In the book, he follows the lesson on recognizing and stopping the Crazy Cycle with a series of guidelines for showing true love to a child. They include Giving, Understanding, Instructing, Disciplining, Encouraging, and Supplicating in prayer, practices that can be implemented by either mother or father, but are most effective when both parents cooperate and work as a parenting team.
Another family dynamic that most of us have witnessed is the ol’ divide and conquer tactic that kids try to use to their advantage. Of course, the presence of a united mom and dad is truly most advantageous. One of my prayers for families is that even if parents have divorced, they be willing to show respect to each other and work together for the good of their kids, never fighting in front of them or putting children in unfair situations.
The Eggerichs understand how divorce affects children since they both experienced it in their families, and they desire to help couples and families thrive in peaceful homes. That is also one of my goals.
Perhaps you are interested in attending the Parenting Conference on November 11-12, 2016, at Spring Hills Baptist Church in Granville, Ohio. Find info and registration form HERE. You may also sign up for child care.
If you’d like to read or listen to the book, you can purchase it here and listen to Dr. Eggerichs explain the purpose of his Love & Respect in the Family teaching. Other on-line booksellers also offer the books.
PLUS, the Love and Respect website includes a lot of FREE insight and teaching about marriage and family challenges and success in the form of blog posts, podcasts, and videos.