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got kids? got respect?

My husband I are going to a Parenting Conference in a few weeks.  Even though our sons are already men, I can’t resist the opportunity to hear Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife, Sarah, teach about Love & Respect in the Family when the event is only 1 1/2 hours away!  I also subscribe to the notion that you can teach an old dog new tricks and suspect that there will be some wisdom to be gleaned about parenting adult children.

You may know that I’ve been a fan of the Love & Respect teachings for years because they work!  The latest book from Dr. Eggerichs, “Mothers and Sons:  The Respect Effect”, points out that sons, as well as husbands, are motivated by respectful communication.  I expect a bit of this teaching to be included at the conference.

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But the basic topic is “Love & Respect in the Family:  The Respect Parents Desire, The Love Children Need.”  Having read the book by that title (which I hope to get autographed), I know that participants will learn about The Family Crazy Cycle.  You may have never have heard of it, but if you’ve got kids, you’ve likely participated in it, and if you don’t have kids, you’ve no doubt seen it play out in a mall or restaurant, or even at church.  The scene (cycle) goes like this:  a child feels unloved and reacts to a parent in a disrespectful way.  The parent, who now feels disrespected, reacts to the child in a way that feels more unloving, triggering more disrespect…

Someone has to break the spiraling, and, of course, it needs to be the mature person – the adult.  Eggerichs maintains that when children are loved in a biblical way, they are more motivated to show respect to their parents.  In the book, he follows the lesson on recognizing and stopping the Crazy Cycle with a series of guidelines for showing true love to a child.  They include Giving, Understanding, Instructing, Disciplining, Encouraging, and Supplicating in prayer, practices that can be implemented by either mother or father, but are most effective when both parents cooperate and work as a parenting team.

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Another family dynamic that most of us have witnessed is the ol’ divide and conquer tactic that kids try to use to their advantage.  Of course, the presence of a united mom and dad is truly most advantageous.  One of my prayers for families is that even if parents have divorced, they be willing to show respect to each other and work together for the good of their kids, never fighting in front of them or putting children in unfair situations.

The Eggerichs understand how divorce affects children since they both experienced it in their families, and they desire to help couples and families thrive in peaceful homes.  That is also one of my goals.

Perhaps you are interested in attending the Parenting Conference on November 11-12, 2016, at Spring Hills Baptist Church in Granville, Ohio.  Find info and registration form HERE.  You may also sign up for child care.

If you’d like to read or listen to the book, you can purchase it here and listen to Dr. Eggerichs explain the purpose of his Love & Respect in the Family teaching.  Other on-line booksellers also offer the books.

PLUS, the Love and Respect website  includes a lot of FREE insight and teaching about marriage and family challenges and success in the form of blog posts, podcasts, and videos. 

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Yikes! It’s National Book Lovers Day!

On Facebook this morning, I saw a post about National Book Lovers Day and suddenly found myself under a DEADLINE. As a new blogger, I’ve set a goal of writing every week. But it’s only Tuesday, and I have people coming over this afternoon to study a book together. Guests coming or not, I put the cleaning off and began this post. After all, they’re readers. They’ll understand. A post about the books I have read this summer was already on my to-do list, and today has to be the day.

I’m an advocate of reading books, teaching lessons to 1st graders called “Read, Read, Read” and “Books Build Brains”.  Most of the books I read are nonfiction. They just seem more useful to me. I read physical books, not digital, and I usually buy them. They become a sort of reference library, and I love having a copy that I can hand to someone else.

 Books that I started and finished this summer:

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
I grabbed my neighbor’s copy of this one last summer when she brought it over to sell in our garage sale. Enough other women had referred to it that I thought I ought to read it. Now I’ve turned into one of the women who refer to this practical and fun marriage help book. The author has determined that people show love in five distinct ways and that each of us responds to one or more of these more strongly than to the others. The couples’ stories Chapman shares are  insightful and encouraging. I highly recommend The 5 Love Languages to anyone who desires to develop a lasting marriage after the infatuation wears off.

This is Your Captain Speaking by Gavin MacLeod
I stumbled upon this one at Ollie’s Bargain Outlet, where I buy lots of books for under $5. The cover photo of the smiling captain of The Love Boat caught my attention, and the subtitle, “My Fantastic Voyage Through HOLLYWOOD, FAITH & LIFE”, sealed the deal. MacLeod has written this autobiography in his 80s with a humble and endearing style. When I gave a copy to my mom, I told her, “Parts of it will make you laugh and parts will make you cry, but that’s the way a life is!”

Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee
This is the first of two books written by Harper Lee, preceding To Kill A Mockingbird, but published 55 years later. I read Mockingbird for the first time last summer and was enchanted by it. Go Set a Watchman was my vacation read (fictional) and one that I found thought-provoking and relevant for the times. I recommend reading Mockingbird first and not expecting Watchman to be much like it.

What I’m reading now:

Mother & Son: The Respect Effect by Emerson Eggerichs, PhD
I am a fan of Eggerichs’ “Love & Respect Ministries” resources.  This is the latest, published in spring 2016. The title hints at an important element in a successful male/female relationship that I missed in Chapman’s book about love languages. If you are the mother of a son of any age or someone who teaches or supervises young men, you can gain understanding about what motivates them and skill in speaking so they will listen from this book.

What I read on most days:

I begin nearly every day with my favorite book. It is actually a collection of 66 books written by 40 inspired authors over a 1,500 year time period. It is autobiographical, and allows the reader to interact with The Author as she reads. “According to Guinness World Records, the BIBLE is the best-selling book of all time with over 5 billion copies sold and distributed” (quoted from Wikipedia).

And the book that my friends and I will be talking about in just a couple of hours? The Family of Jesus by Karen Kingsbury, also purchased at Ollie’s and containing a great blend of history and fiction.

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Happy Book Lovers Day!

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